Co-Parenting

co-parenting

What does co-parenting mean exactly?  Does it mean that you should work with the Mother/Father of your children in order to raise them in the best possible way?  OR  Does co-parenting mean that you should cram your beliefs down the other’s throat and not care who you hurt in the process–even if it’s the kids?  Oy, the struggle…

What if you’ve been an absentee parent for most of your kids’ lives?…and now all of a sudden you’re the expert on their well-being? How the hell does that work?!?

Where were you when the shit hit the fan and I was left holding the bag? (I need to add that the bag had a hole in the bottom) Oh yes, you were too busy wooing your next victim!  If you’re too stubborn to realize that you actually have to work with me as a team—your kids will suffer.  And that goes for couples also.  Really people….we have to work together to be successful…

So how do you fix it?  Well, I’m no expert, but if you’re dealing with an ass on a daily basis, take the high road.  Lots and LOTS of patience will be needed. Maybe a glass of wine here and there.  Don’t argue – but make sure your voice is being heard.  And please ladies & gents, DO NOT CRY!!!  Assholes look at crying as a sign of weakness.  There’s nothing worse than showing weakness to the one person who’s actually trying to break you down.  If you want to cry, do it in private.  In the shower, while your falling asleep, with friends…but never cry in front of your kids or the idiot.  I cried daily: in the shower, in the bathroom at work, in my car….I knew I was strong but man oh man the pain was excruciating.

If you don’t have one yet, grow a spine.  You’re gonna need it for the long road that awaits you. Because the shit that’s gonna come up will be HARD.  So many times I thought that I should just give up.  If I did, it would be the lesser of two evils.  The idiot will learn eventually that the kids come first. They’ll soon realize (hopefully) that basing their actions solely on revenge will only result in their children resenting them, not you, when they’re older.

And the light you see at the end of the tunnel may actually be a light and not a train coming to run you over!!  But remember: If you stoop to their level, you are just as much of an ass as they are.  And the “ass” look is so not attractive!! xoxo ~ D

42 Responses to “Co-Parenting”

  1. JadeMarch 17, 2015 at 8:50 pm #

    Yes I totally agree LOTS of wine and patience needed to Co parent. When people hear Co parent they think it’s the easiest thing to do, when it actually should be but in reality it’s the total opposite.

  2. Doris MartinMarch 18, 2015 at 9:43 pm #

    You’re absolutely right Jade…It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

    • JadeMarch 19, 2015 at 4:21 am #

      It’s like a constant uphill battle especially when one parent (who is not the primary carer) thinks they know it all (and dont) and refuse to listen to the primary carer then end up making things like routines/behaviour worse after you have worked so hard on those 2 things. Sometimes it feels like they’re just out to sabotage your hard work.
      Also why is it that the one parent who is not the constant one in their life likes to appear & take credit for all your hard work.? For example i’m very big on homework so when the kids come home they either do reading or writing & on the walk to school we do maths using cars etc as examples, yet as soon as they both got excellent school reports he’s like yes because I’ve been teaching them to read & write Grrrrrrrr

      My dad did the same, as soon as I got my degree he took all the credit for it when it was all my mum.

      Sorry for the long rant can you tell I’m not a fan of Co parenting, I’m a reluctant participant lol

      • Doris MartinMarch 19, 2015 at 9:27 pm #

        Oh no, don’t apologize. It’s hard stuff. I totally remember that feeling…I had to “re-program” my kids every time they went to their Dad’s house. They went every other weekend and would start to act up a few days before they had to go. When they came back, it was worse. The homework wasn’t done, they stayed up until all hours, he never fed them when he brought them back. I would find myself rushing around like a crazy person and being so pissed. The more I showed emotion, the more my ex continued and the more my kids misbehaved.

        One day I decided that they had to do their homework on Friday before they left and I always had a light dinner waiting on Sunday nights. That gave me part of my sanity back. I realized my ex was doing these things on purpose. Once I stopped giving him power…his antics stopped bothering me. Trust me…I hate having to co-parent….

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    • Doris MartinApril 12, 2015 at 11:19 am #

      Thank You!!

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      Thx!! I definitely will. Co-Parenting takes a lot of effort on both parts!!

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