I’ve had some pretty funky dates these past couple of months. Every one a little worse than the one before. Leading me to wonder if there’s such a thing as dating etiquette. I mean, there has to be…right? Or am I just imagining this mystical thing?
So I put together a small list of what I know is important for me. I guess as a disclaimer, I should say that this list is what I think is important. Not necessarily what the world may think. I’m saying this before someone decides to get their panties in a wad….lolol
#1~ Show Up. This goes without saying but it still needs to be said. I remember texting and talking to a guy for like a couple of weeks. We finally decided to meet for happy hour during the work week. I get ready while remaining in contact with him. So I think everything’s cool. I get to the bar, go inside…and wait.
Two minutes….five minutes….ten minutes…..
Then a text message that said: sorry, I changed my mind. < insert WTF emoticon here > Needless to say, I had a few choice words and they were all NSFW.
Like dude, you could’ve said that before I started to get ready. Why the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks did you even bother to ask me out?
The least he could’ve done was show up, have a drink and we never have to see each other again.
#2 ~ Be Present. This definitely goes both ways. No it is not ok to stare at your phone during the entire date. That’s not the time to check email or answer random text messages. We’re all busy. But if we make the commitment to meet up, we should at least get to know each other. Make eye contact, ask questions, actually engage in conversation.
#3 ~ Be Honest. What are you looking for? Nine times out of ten, this question will most likely come up. So answer it – correctly. If you’re not looking for something long term and want to just date around, say so. Are you emotionally available? Do you just want to hook up? Give the other person a chance to decide if they can accept your terms. Don’t just say what you think they want to hear. There’s nothing worse than moving forward with someone and then being ghosted. Or asking where the relationship is going and they say the don’t have time for one.
#4 ~ Ex Factor. Yes it’s important to know why previous relationships didn’t work out. But do I really need to hear you bitch and moan for the entire date? Negative. For example: my ex cheated….A LOT.. I usually answer this question with the following: my ex had a lot of extra curricular relationships and I don’t like to share. That’s it. I shouldn’t have to share every gory detail, nor do I want to. Continuing on and on about your ex makes you seem a tad bitter….thus making a possible relationship seem like more trouble than it’s worth. Like if I listen to the whole sob story, will I be listening to same sob story for the next thirty years??? Yeah – I don’t have that kind of time. Aaanndd if you’re still that bitter….refer to #3 and admit to yourself that you’re not ready for something long term.
#5 ~ Have Fun. The first date is a meet and greet. A small interview so to speak. It is not a round table meeting to solve our national debt. Loosen the eff up. The other person is probably just as nervous as you are. Awkward silences can be cute if you have one or two. Laugh them off.
At the end of the day – you need to be exactly who you are.
~ smile ~ laugh out loud ~ and if you play your cards right, there might just be a second date!!!
Let the dating success stories begin….
xo ~ D