Sometimes known as the “slow fade”. Ghosting refers to the pervasive act where one date ends a relationship by simply disappearing. The ghost does not give an explanation of any sort, leaving the ghosted wondering where he or she went wrong.
Apparently this is the new way to break up with someone. <insert wtf face here> I swear, in this day and age, dating is getting more and more crazy town. Have we gotten so far removed from reality that it’s ok to just disappear from someone? Why can’t we just say “I’m not into you”?
I mean, there’s definitely a difference between ghosting someone you’ve been out with a few times and ghosting someone you’ve only spoken to a few times on a dating app. If you haven’t invested any time with them, then ghosting isn’t a real problem….But if you’ve been out more than a few times, talked/texted every day and you just disappeared?? You’re an asshole…period.
So dating in 2015 = no commitment, enough genitalia pics to write a coffee table book and now ghosting. <sigh>
Looking back on my tinder days, I realize that I’ve ghosted a few guys. Yeah, I’m guilty. Who wouldn’t be? Swipe left, swipe right. You’re a match!! Then what?? You chit chat for a little bit. Good convo? If you’re lucky…yes. If not…ghost em. Simple as that. You don’t know these people. You haven’t exchanged numbers. You haven’t gone out two or three times. So you’re not invested. Not a big deal if you ghost them or they happen to ghost you. You have to understand that at this point, there are no feelings involved. You’re just enjoying the thrill of the chase. You probably wouldn’t even notice. Why? Because you’re too busy having 10 other convos at the same time. You never stopped swiping. That app is such a great distraction. 90% of the people are just looking to hook up and won’t even bat an eyelash if they never hear from you again.
So what happens when you’ve been seeing someone for a little more than a minute? It doesn’t really matter where you met. The difference, this time, is you took the time to get to know each other. You probably exchanged numbers. Started texting daily in the hopes of learning more. Being curious as to what they sound like on the phone. Listening to the first voicemail that was left (~ I never answer the phone the first time someone new calls….I want to know what they sound like) Then what happens? You meet. You laugh, you drink, you realize this isn’t half bad. I can go out with him again. I mean he seems nice. Tall, good looking, great smile, not too serious….I could go on. He calls the next day to check in. We make plans to meet again. We see each other about once a week for a few months. Things seem to be progressing nicely. We’ve come to the point when we should decide if we should be exclusive. Then the first text goes unanswered. Then the second…not a word, a peep, a smoke signal…nada. Since I’m not a believer in chasing men, I do nothing. I won’t call/text like a psycho. I won’t show up at your door/job unannounced. I’ll become just like you….a ghost.
So what happens next? You pick your heart up off the floor and move on. Either they come back from the dead or they don’t. If I put you in the “asshole” box…chances are I’ve already blocked you. I would never know if you tried to contact me again. Which is perfect.
Ghosting is the type of thing that can turn a girl who believes in love into a jaded girl who doesn’t really believe in anything anymore. So protect your hearts ladies and gents. This crazy thing called love is turning out to be a very bumpy ride….
xoxo ~ D