It’s beginning to look a lot like…..What exactly?? Christmas? New Years? How about ‘Tis the season to pity single people.

I’ve never quite understood why we treat singles differently during the holidays. This has always been my favorite time of year. Spending time with family and friends, dinner parties, happy hours, shopping, gift giving…..and Santa!!

Don’t get me wrong though…the Ghosts of Christmas Past haunt me every year.

Sad gingerbread man

There are days that go by when I don’t think about you at all.  Then, there are some when I see your face around every corner I turn.  That smile, those eyes…enough to turn my insides into Jell-o.  My God.  What is it about this time of year that makes me think about us?  Maybe it’s the memories we’ll always have.  The laughs we shared….the kisses….the…..~ ok ok….I should get off that train of thought.

~dangerous territory~

Winters are perfect for when you’re coupled up.  Ice skating dates, drinking hot chocolate while snuggled up and watching a movie…So what do you do during this time of year when you’re single?

Let the pity party begin….

Just because I’m single, doesn’t mean my mascara’s running. Trust me when I say I’m not spending my time thinking “woe is me” or “why am I alone”.  Like that’s not even in my vocabulary. You don’t have to stare if you see me at the movies or at a bar alone.  I’m pretty comfortable with where I am in my life right now.  I’m not at home pining over a past relationship or crying into my Moscato all while shoveling ice cream down my throat.

For me, the holidays are about spending time with the people you love and those that make you happy.  Family and friends are always at the top of my list.  But there’s something about this time of year that makes those memories feel even more special.  I don’t mean to sound sappy, but I do find myself smiling more than usual.

So here are a few tips that I hope will get you through those awkward moments.

1: Holiday Parties: Sure a lot of people will bring dates/significant others.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t go solo and enjoy yourself.  Dress up and put on some makeup.  A great heel is always a plus.  Let yourself have fun!

2: Family Pressure: This is a big one. Are you bringing anyone?  When are you going to settle down? I’m sure you’ve heard these before. You should’ve found someone by now….blah, blah, blah.  I totally ignore these.  There’s no need to get offended or upset.  Your family really does want what’s best for you.  But you actually have to do things in your own time.

3: Memories of the Past: I’m not going to tell you that these won’t feel like a knife going through your body.  But if something reminds you of the past, that’s ok.  Memories are part of what make us who we are.  Right?? Will it hurt?  Probably.  But if you shove those feelings deep down into the pit, you’ll never know how to deal with them.

If all else fails….just smile. If you don’t want to answer the awkward question, change the subject.  Take the time to celebrate.  Cherish every moment.  Not just during the holidays, but every day.

xo ~ D


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20 Responses to “#Holidays”

  1. Shann EvaDecember 30, 2015 at 3:40 pm #

    I used to hate all the comments and looks of pity when I was single. I wasn’t sad at all. I enjoyed being by myself, and would much rather be by myself on the holidays than with someone who wasn’t right for me. Plus, being single means you get to spend all the time with your family, not have to split it up. There’s plenty of time for relationships, and it will happen whenever it’s right.

    • Doris MartinDecember 30, 2015 at 11:25 pm #

      Thank you!! I couldn’t agree with you more!!

  2. ThessauronJanuary 1, 2016 at 10:32 am #

    I’m decidedly single and the truth is that I enjoy my Christmases and New Years very much. I look forward to venturing out on the eves for a good dinner and usually a show later. I don’t feel abandoned because I’ve learned a rare skill, i.e. I am comfortable with myself.

    It’s also far easier to get reservations and seats for holidays when you’re alone, BTW.

    And being single doesn’t mean I have no social or family life. There’s much more to life than romance. Those who cannot understand this are likely who would end up lonely. They just can’t see the other sides of life besides life.

    • Doris MartinJanuary 1, 2016 at 6:02 pm #

      Thank you!!! Becoming comfortable with yourself is the main key!!

  3. Lisa MartensJanuary 14, 2016 at 12:16 pm #

    I too am single, though a few years older…lol! I enjoy that I can do what I want to do and visit whoever I want to visit. Less obligation and more celebration!

    • Doris MartinJanuary 15, 2016 at 7:20 am #

      I totally agree!!! I only go where I want to 🙂

  4. Christy D.January 14, 2016 at 12:34 pm #

    I think there is much to enjoy in each life. As a young mom with an infant and toddler, this year I missed the carefree shopping time I used to have with my mom and cousins and sisters. I had to be back in time to feed the baby and enforce naptime. 😀

    The same was true when we had a board game night. Everyone else could keep playing. But moms of young children (and dads) had to make the drive back to baby beds.

    • Doris MartinJanuary 15, 2016 at 7:22 am #

      Yes. If the babies a super young, you have a lot of restrictions of how long you can stay or if you can go at all. But that’s also the best time! Being able to see how they discover life is amazing!

  5. JordynJanuary 14, 2016 at 7:02 pm #

    I had never realized how much the spirit of the holidays are focused on relationships until you pointed it out! I’m lucky to have a a sweet man by my side who is my best friend, but I certainly enjoyed the holidays by myself and with my best girl friends as well.

    And it wasn’t until I spent a good chunk of time single, getting to know myself, before I even actually knew what I wanted out of a relationship. I feel like people are so worked up about being with SOMEONE that they forget about themselves. I kind of miss the days of being able to do whatever I wanted without having to keep in touch. I love where I’m at, but there was something fun about being able to go buy myself dinner!

    • Doris MartinJanuary 15, 2016 at 10:23 am #

      I agree. Once you know exactly who you are and accept it, only then will you ever know what your truly want and need

  6. MarleenJanuary 15, 2016 at 1:15 am #

    Wow so interesting to see how the ‘single life’ is for you. I never felt pressure or awkward questions. Lucky me I think!

    • Doris MartinJanuary 15, 2016 at 10:19 am #

      I think it’s done with the best intentions…I just don’t pay it any attention

  7. H.EvansJanuary 15, 2016 at 2:42 am #

    Be who you are and enjoy where you are…..Life is too short!

    • Doris MartinJanuary 15, 2016 at 10:21 am #


  8. Heather JohnsonJanuary 15, 2016 at 12:41 pm #

    I am looking to the future. I have one goal for 2016: Not buy any toys or books. We have too many toys and can get any book we want from the library. Instead we will spend our fun money on experiences.

    • Doris MartinJanuary 15, 2016 at 2:41 pm #

      What a great idea!!! I might have to try it!

  9. Blog to TasteJanuary 16, 2016 at 2:13 pm #

    Ugh, I hate the dread family functions. Though, I will say after taking a few holidays off (I just decided I was better off choosing one holiday function to go to and sitting the rest out), our conversations tend to be more substantial than just “why are you single?”

  10. Nimi PopatJanuary 17, 2016 at 5:58 am #

    I have eventually stopped going to such get togethers because of that pity party.

  11. AshimaJanuary 17, 2016 at 6:05 am #

    Be yourself always!!

  12. Shantel CollinsJanuary 18, 2016 at 4:21 pm #

    Thank goodness I’m a mom now because single life isn’t all that bad during the holidays now.

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