#Love

IMG_3956

Whew…that word can mean so many different things.  Some days I don’t even know which version I want to believe.  Are we searching for something that doesn’t really exist?  Why is love so elusive???

 

IMG_3863I want total consuming love.  I want to love someone I can’t live without.  Someone who accepts me for all of my quirkiness and insecurities.  Lets me be me.  Will I burst into song in the middle of a conversation because it reminds me of the situation?  Probably.  I haven’t mastered the art of laughing on the inside yet.  I have a loud Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman, laugh that I don’t think I can ever change.

 

IMG_3952First and foremost, I’m a Mom.  Period.  My kiddos are my first priority.  So I won’t be traipsing them around different men just cuz.  I’m a package deal – it’s me plus three.  Take it or leave it.  I wonder how many more frogs I have to go through though.  Is it wrong to want to have butterflies every time you look at your soulmate?  I want to be with someone who can still make me blush with one look.  Someone who can keep me laughing.

 

IMG_3947So that got me thinking.  The couples I see that have been together for what seems like forever….Are they still together because they’re actually in love, or are they still together out of convenience?  If they’re together out of convenience, then they’ll never have a happily ever after.  Right??

 

I’m sure you know exactly what I mean when I say the couples who stay together out of convenience.  If not, let me explain.  The one’s who stay together because of the kids or because they’re afraid they’ll never find anyone else.  The ones that stay together because of money or because they know no one else will put up with their bullshit.  The girls that fill your timeline with pics/posts to tell you how happy they are in their relationships.  It’s as if they’re trying to prove something to themselves.  Guys don’t do that shit.  But if you follow them and their boyfriends/husbands on social media, you get a double dose…..Why you ask??  Because the insecure wife/girlfriend posts that shit on their pages also.  As if to say: “Hey, hey, look over here…..we’re happy!”  Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit….no one believes you.

 

That being said, what does a single gal like me do? Should I be looked at differently because I decided to inconvenience myself?  I decided that being with someone who’s honest, respectful and has great moral character is more important than having a plus one.  Should I be chastised and pitied based on that decision alone?  To me, the status of being in a relationship is less important than the happily ever after part.

 

So now what?  Should I even bother looking?  In which direction should I be searching?  There’s good on paper guy.  You know him: great job, retirement package, big house…blah, blah, blah.  Then there’s night life guy.  Always ready for happy hour or dinner.  Likes to go dancing or to concerts.  The great Dad guy is always ready to do kid stuff, makes me laugh and is super supportive.  The problem?  I want all of those versions wrapped into one.  I love a man in a suit, crisp shirt, cuff links, no tie….perfection.  But I also love guys who sport the laid back look.  Sports jerseys, jeans, t-shirts, sperrys….

I had that kind of love once….a very long time ago.  Not sure if I’ll ever find it again.  So for now, I’m not looking for love.  But if it comes by….I’m available.  xoxo ~ D

13 Responses to “#Love”

  1. JacklynAugust 10, 2015 at 1:06 am #

    I dont know if I fully agree with you. Men do leave mushy stuff on fb/instagram. Not sure how this makes the woman needy or insecure. Maybe you haven’t experianced this before. You sound a bit scorned.

    There are plenty of couples that love each other and go through ups and downs. Kids jobs and money play a toll on relationships. That is what love is. Staying with someone through ALL their bullshit. Loving them unconditionally.

    I hope you find love. But after reading your blog… I think your looking for a fairy tale… And well hunny this isnt 20 years ago… Or a disney movie. Please dont take this wrong.. Just some thoughts. Good luck in finding all that you are looking for.

    • Doris MartinAugust 17, 2015 at 8:53 pm #

      Thx! Yes, men leave mushy/personal posts on social media and so do women. But what I was referring to are those that post about 3-5 super personal posts a day….every single day. Those are the ones that I believe have something to prove. Everyone has busy lives. Between work, kids, school, extra curricular activities…you name it, there’s always something going on. Your lives together should take precedence over posting on social media.

      I’m actually a realist and definitely not looking for a fairy tale. That being said, I’ve been watching Disney movies since I was a kid like everyone else. Television and movies are a fantasy and not what I’m about. Trust me when I say I know it’s not 20 years ago and I wouldn’t want it to be. Those posts are just about what happened after seeing an ex 20 years later.

      I sincerely appreciate your input. Everything I post are my personal stories. About how I felt when it was happening….not necessarily me wanting it to be my reality. I want women to have a place to read and voice their opinions whether they agree with me or not. Reading about my mistakes might help someone know they’re not alone. That’s what makes this platform so unique!

  2. JacklynAugust 17, 2015 at 9:31 pm #

    Maybe everyones life isnt as busy as you feel yours is. You make time for what is important for you. Maybe they had a fight, got back together, rekindling a marriage. Your beliefs are your beliefs.. But my husband sends me something daily to remind me of his love. If he forgot a day, honestly it would bother me.

    Your 20 years ago post makes no sense to me. His poor wife who he def went back to. I hope she never has to read this. I also feel bad for you, as he seems to have strung you along to fill her void. I do not see any advice for anyone in that story line. Just your version of events that happened… I almost feel it was revenge to get back at him. And your desperation, to share your side of the story.. Where is the advise? All I see is you lusting for a man who was married, (who says they want to just not be married anymore..did he really say that) which i believe after reading all your blogs… You were married and cheated on.. And should have known better. Thats my opinion.

    • Doris MartinAugust 17, 2015 at 9:44 pm #

      That’s what I do everyday. I know exactly what my priorities are..

  3. JacklynAugust 17, 2015 at 9:55 pm #

    Writing blogs about a married man that you can not have. Sounds like great priority!

  4. LaurenOctober 28, 2015 at 3:46 am #

    I really enjoyed this post. You have a great writing style. I especially loved the different categories of guys you mentioned, it gave me an idea for a post of my own. Looking forward to you’re future posts :)

    • Doris MartinOctober 28, 2015 at 8:39 am #

      Thank you so much!!! Looking forward to reading more of your posts as well

  5. Emily RoseOctober 28, 2015 at 6:14 pm #

    I really liked this post. I laughed at the different kinds of guys. And it seems to be true sometimes, but on occasion if you’re lucky you’re able to meet someone who makes everyone else seem invisible and that’s the guy for you.

    • Doris MartinOctober 28, 2015 at 10:26 pm #

      Thx!!!
      ….and that’s the one you should hold on to forever…

  6. Shann EvaNovember 4, 2015 at 5:21 pm #

    I think right when you stop looking, that’s when love finds you. It certainly happened that way for me. I know you’ll find the right guy for you and your kids :)

    • Doris MartinNovember 4, 2015 at 10:15 pm #

      Thank you so much!!! I agree. You just have to go through life and enjoy it…whatever’s meant to be will be

  7. JennyNovember 4, 2015 at 9:50 pm #

    I love all of the quotes.
    This post definitely got me thinking so thanks for that.

    xoxo, Jenny

    • Doris MartinNovember 4, 2015 at 10:16 pm #

      Thx!!! I’m glad you enjoyed it ☺️

Leave a Reply to Emily Rose Click here to cancel reply.