#LuvBug

As another Valentine’s Day comes to a close.  I sit back and wonder: After all that’s happened.

Why am I still an eternal optimist when it comes to falling in love?

imageWhen it comes to relationships, I’ve been through the wringer.  Gut wrenching, earth shattering highs and lows.

But I still believe in the happily ever after.

Sometimes I think I’m just a glutton for punishment.  I mean, who wants to go through all of that drama time and time again in the hopes of finally being happy?

::sigh:: I would.  I mean, I really could do without the drama.  But the happy stuff?? Sign me up!!

I know, I know.  At this stage of the game, I might be better off if I just cut my losses and stayed in my current situation.

Single.

And who could blame me if I decided to do just that??

- No one -

I’m like a magnet for cheaters, men who don’t know what they want, men that don’t want a commitment and assholes in general.   You name it and I’ve probably heard from them.  Been attracted to them.  Loved them.  Cried for them.  Maybe I’m not a magnet per say…but it sure as heck seems like it.  Most of the time, that is.  I’m not sure if I give off some sort of pheromone that screams: apply only if you have tons of drama.

Maybe I should create a new scent called Eau de Drame?! ::hahaha::

But love.  Love is that one emotion that’s totally free to give and receive.

There’s nothing like feeling strong arms pull you close.  That playful stare that only the two of you understand.  The goosebumps that run through your body with just one touch.  The caresses.  The pet names. The feeling of safety when you’re lying in his arms.

Ohhhh l’amour est très belle!!!

You see…that’s why I can’t give up on it.  I long to feel that happiness again.  I crave it.

Like I can’t be doomed to live the single life forever.

Can I?

image

I’ve been lied to, cheated on, emotionally abused and threatened.

~ see what I mean…a magnet for drama ~

My survival usually depended on what was really going on at the time.  Weighing my options on whether to stay or go.  Taking a lot of bad because I saw a tiny bit of good.  I basically didn’t know my worth.  I had a hard time getting out of my own way. I was a hot mess.

Oy. The struggle can be brutal.

But all of those are just bumps in the road….right?  Tiny diversions.  I hope they’re just steps I have to go through that’ll get me to the end result.

Do you know how much love I have to give??

Do you know how much love I’m open to receiving?

I always wear my heart on my sleeve.  Which can sometimes be an issue.  I love hard. I’m unapologetic.  I’m honest.  I’m genuine. I truly believe that you accept the love you think you deserve.

::sigh:: ~ Which is why I’m currently divorced.

The love I had was no where near what I deserved ~ but that’s a story for another day….

imageWho wouldn’t want to wake up and look into their soulmate’s eyes?  To fall asleep every night lying in their arms.  That feeling of just being content with life.

Needing nothing more.

The two of us  would make each other whole.

One unit.

Conquering the world together.

Completely in love and in lust with each other.

…Happy

At the end of the day, that’s what we all want.

True love.

Unbiased.

Unfiltered.

Unforgettable.

Give 100%.

Beautiful.

Love.

 

I’ll keep you posted…

xo ~ D

 

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8 Responses to “#LuvBug”

  1. KristinaMarch 8, 2016 at 7:56 am #

    So much of this hit home. I remember those days well. I have a past of pretty bad boyfriends, infidelity and breakups. We all deserve happiness.. We all deserve a love that is true and kind.

    • Doris MartinMarch 8, 2016 at 8:07 am #

      Exactly!! Staying strong through it all is the hardest part. I hope you’ve already found your happily ever after…or you’re well on your way to finding it.
      ~ D

  2. LeslieMarch 8, 2016 at 9:10 am #

    This totally sounds like me, except I attract the ones with commitment phobia’s. Oh it’s great. I’m glad my friends are taken and happy because sometimes it sucks being single. I’m right there with ya!

    • Doris MartinMarch 8, 2016 at 9:19 am #

      Yes…sometimes it sucks..lol.
      If there was only a way to snap your fingers and the commitment phobes would disappear…
      Perfection

      ~ D

  3. Isabella GilliganMarch 8, 2016 at 9:30 am #

    You’ll find your soul mate, probably when you least expect it and arnt looking. That’s what happened to me. A year later we couldn’t be more stronger than ever. Good luck X
    Modern-relationships.blogspot.co.uk

    • Doris MartinMarch 8, 2016 at 9:50 am #

      Awww thank you so much!! Congratulations on finding your best friend.
      ~ D

  4. BrittanyMarch 8, 2016 at 11:12 am #

    I wish you luck! You’ll find it someday.

    • Doris MartinMarch 8, 2016 at 11:20 am #

      Thank you so much!!
      ~ D

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