image “Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me, let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be”…..~ Salt -N- Pepa

Ahh yes….let’s talk about it. Such a touchy subject amongst most people nowadays. Not sure why it’s so taboo.  I mean, it’s just sex.

In the dating world, there’s such a double standard. Why should women be chastised if they enjoy sex? Why should we hide our sexual appetites if we’re single.  Why are there so many rules?  Shit, what are they?

Oy, it’s like a never ending sea of questions:

Sex on the first date? Yay or nay?

What about date number three?

Wait, should I hold out for thirty days like Steve Harvey says??  Because if I do, then the guy will really want me for me?? Right?? ~ insert groan here ~  I still can’t fully understand the reasoning behind it.  No, yes I can.  But still…..What kind of bullshit is that?  What if I wait the said thirty days, do the do and then he dips??  That’s right…I’ll still be in the same boat.


So like sex and dating totally suck.  Why? Because if you’re not in a committed relationship, and you’re a woman that enjoys sex….you can easily be labeled as a slut.  Even if you’re super duper careful. It’s fucking ridiculous how big the stigma is.  Why do we have to be the ones that put our needs on hold??

So here’s a question to single women everywhere:

Have you ever had to go months without the luxury of an orgasm because you didn’t want to sleep around?

How’d that make you feel?  Relaxed? Happy?

A friend told me the other day that it’s better to abstain altogether.

But WHY??

Because you unknowingly form soul ties with everyone you sleep with.  Therefore sex is no bueno if you’re single. Fml…really?  So if I’m in need of a “release” I should just wait so my soul doesn’t tie with someone else’s?

Miss out on the strong arms wrapped around me?  Not experience the stories we’d tell each other through kisses?  Just imagine the pleasure our bodies would go through?  How we fit like a glove.  How your fingers intertwine through mine.  The way my breath catches a little when you kiss my neck.  How every touch is like an electric bolt going through my body.  Reacting as you touch me in all the right places……

Sometimes I wish that I could have sex like a man.  You know, the way the players do….without feelings. ::sigh:: It would make this being single shit so much easier.

Maybe single people should have a go to FWB.  You know, a friend with benefits.  I mean it could totally fit the purpose if you’re both single, consenting adults.  Right??  Or would it get messy?  What do you do if one starts dating someone? Stop? I mean yeah..you should.  But if the sex is really good..should you? ~ This idea just has trouble written all over it ~  Someone always ends up catching feelings and you’re forced to end a good thing.

As you can see, this stresses me out a bit.  On one hand, I don’t want to be slut shamed.  And on the other, I have needs to be met.  So what’s the answer??

Sadly, I have no freaking clue.

I’m not really into the hook up thing though.  Gotta respect myself and my body.  But jeez Louise, what’s a girl to do?  Go with the flow?  Do what feels right?  Join a convent??

I guess I’ll just take it one day at a time…..


xoxo ~ D

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3 Responses to “#SexTalk”

  1. Shaniqua GarvinFebruary 7, 2016 at 2:37 pm #

    That’s totally my dilemma so one day at a time. I am shooting for a FWB that I have known for a while, we will see what happens. Yes we have needs, I hear you laud and clear about that!

    • Doris MartinFebruary 7, 2016 at 3:28 pm #

      Yes girl…one day at a time

  2. Flight & ScarletFebruary 12, 2016 at 5:01 pm #

    Just do you. Honestly, that’s it. Don’t worry about what everybody else says. If they’re judging you for doing you, whether that’s having sex three times a week with different people or once a month, then they’re not worth thinking about. Looking back on my own life, I WISH I just stopped worrying about what everybody else thought about who I had sex with or how often. I mean, I would’ve been so much happier!

    I’ve written and read a LOT about the double standard, and like you, I can’t STAND how stupid it is. But the only way to win is to not let it affect you! You CAN do what men don’t get judged for. You may be judged, but do you really want those people in your life?

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