Unconventional Deal Breakers

Everyone has deal breakers when it comes to remaining in relationships.  The most common ones usually come to mind: infidelity, lying, abuse.  But what about other things?

Which unconventional deal breakers can make or break your next relationship?

Here’s a short list of unconventional deal breakers I’ve encountered  while in the dating scene:

imageBad Kisser ~ ok, so kissing is usually one of the fist things to happen when you start dating.  The first kiss is usually kind of awkward.

A thought that first runs through my head is: what if he has bad breath??!

There are times when you kiss someone for the first time and everything goes perfectly.  You tilt your head the right way, your tongues move in unison, his palm is on your face while his fingers are touching your hair on the back of your neck….mmmm – sheer perfection.

I believe that kisses are like words you can’t express out loud.  So please, if we’re kissing….have something to say….


imageConversation ~ can you carry one?? This one is soo important.  Please have an opinion….on something/anything. You can’t agree with everything I say.  And just because I like sports  doesn’t mean I want to spend every waking moment talking about conspiracy theories, team records, or draft picks.  Don’t get me wrong, I can discuss these things at length.  I can enjoy all sporting events, engage with the crowd and not sit there like a trophy.  I can even root for your team.  But come onnnn, you have to be able to talk about something other than sports.


Sex ~ if you’re my age, and haven’t figured out how to be good at it…the hope is gone.


Can you imagine spending the rest of your life not knowing what an orgasm feels like?  I can’t.

When you have sex with someone new, the first time might not be the best.

Even though, you might be lucky enough to get someone you fit like a glove with on the first try!! – lucky you-

But, if we’ve been seeing each other for a while and it’s still a snooze fest??

Peace, I’m out. I’m not signing up for an LTR/lifetime of not feeling ecstasy.  Call me selfish.  But this is a big deal.


Transportation ~ yes…you should have your own car.  I don’t know why this even has to be said…

I remember going on a date with a guy who told me that he had taken a cab.  Said he had been in an accident, his car was totaled and he hadn’t replaced it yet.  Ok, no big deal.  Two weeks later, in conversation, he said that accident happened two years prior.  Seriously?  This was a man who owned his own business, had steady income and refused to have reliable transportation.  He even went as far as to say he could always find someone to give him a ride.  Uhhh, no.  Women actually fall for this??


Bad Manners ~ this goes without saying.  You can’t walk around acting like you have no home training.  This goes both ways. It’s not cute, nor is it attractive. Period.


Inconsiderate ~ I remember going on a date with this guy a few years ago. It was just an ok date.  Sort of lost touch with him.  Fast forward to a few months ago, I get this random text that he’d like to meet for drinks and catch up.  Fine.  Never really confirmed a date so I just went about my business.

~ I should say that I’m not going to chase you. If you ask me out, and I accept, set the time & the date.  I’m not some needy girl that’s gonna hunt you down.  ~

Anywho, the day after the supposed date was supposed to happen, I get this I had to work late, blah blah blah text…can we reschedule.  ~ sigh ~ fine.

Same thing happened again….After receiving another apology/reschedule text…my reply went as follow: yeah…nope, I’m not rescheduling for a third time.  Although he continues to text me, I’ll never respond again ~ not worth it.


Negative Nelly ~ ok, so I realize it’s unrealistic for me to think you’ll be in an amazeballs mood all day everyday.  But to be nothing but doom and gloom?  I can be your go to cheerleader.  I can support you in every endeavor.  But I really don’t have time to stroke your ego daily because of a “whoa is me” attitude.  Shit happens and we can’t let it totally consume us at the other’s expense.


These are definitely my top unconventional deal breakers.  I’m sure I’ll find a few more as I go through the dating scene.  But these…these weigh heavily.

Some more than others.

I always try to go with the flow.  But I can’t look past these.


So, if you’re honest, can make me laugh, and don’t fit into these categories….you’re ahead of the game!


xo ~ D

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10 Responses to “Unconventional Deal Breakers”

  1. TeriMarch 15, 2016 at 8:42 am #

    Great list. I haven’t been single in a long time, but I agree with just about all of your items. I especially agree about not hunting someone down. More women need to learn that lesson. Good list.

    • Doris MartinMarch 15, 2016 at 9:20 am #

      Thank you!!it makes it easier when you’re not chasing after someone ~ D

  2. Katie @ Talk Less, Say MoreMarch 15, 2016 at 11:53 am #

    It’s hard to think sometimes that we deserve all of these things…but it’s a great reminder that we DO deserve them!

    • Doris MartinMarch 15, 2016 at 12:06 pm #

      Thank you!! It’s a way to remind yourself that you’re worth it!

  3. Neely (@Neelykins)March 15, 2016 at 4:18 pm #

    Oh my gosh this had me cracking up! Yes sex and bad kissing are NO GO’s!

    • Doris MartinMarch 15, 2016 at 9:38 pm #

      Right?!!! I just can’t see myself settling for that!!
      ~ D

  4. AmandaMarch 15, 2016 at 4:19 pm #

    And sometimes you find someone who changes your list 🙂 I guess I found that some of the things I thought were deal breakers became flexible and things about my now-husband became new deal breakers because I just couldn’t see myself doing life without him and his own personal quirks.

    • Doris MartinMarch 15, 2016 at 9:37 pm #

      Congratulations!!! We all have to do what’s best for us 🙂
      ~ D

  5. RogerMarch 16, 2016 at 8:37 am #

    I agree some with your list… but why not go with the flow and just find the right one. I feel as to many woman say ” I don’t want this or you can’t be that.” I mean do YOU really have all your shit together? We all have “issues” Men and women alike. I’d prefer to find someone who I connect with and work on those issues together. If you can’t love someone through their issues, why the fuck do you expect someone to love you through yours? Love is not about perfection or a list. It is about learning, accepting, and growing with someone through life. This is why so many women become miserable and stay single for decades. They expect perfection.. They expect a prince charming who fullfills whatever fantasy they have made up in their minds. When in all actuality, Maybe they are the ones who need to work on themselves, instead of making lists of why they won’t date men. If you’ve been single for over ten years.. You may need to look in the mirror.

    • Doris MartinMarch 16, 2016 at 9:30 am #

      Thank you! By no means do I expect perfection. I’m laid back and go with the flow. I don’t go around checking off boxes in my head when I meet someone. This list was generated to basically start a conversation about what turns people off. Also, thanks for your concern, but I haven’t been single for over 10 years. ~ D

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